Moving Forward

For at least the last 5 years I have had a theme song for my life, which was, How Did You Get Here, by Deborah Cox. This was my theme song because in so many instances I’d found myself in situations where I would be asking that question. Sometimes it was a relationship others a business decision or any other random thing that may have been going wrong.  It was rarely compared to any of the many successes that I’ve had.

In the last couple of months I’ve found that I haven’t been hearing that song in my head anymore.  The song that has taken its place is a gospel song called, Moving Forward.  The opening lyrics to the song are…

I’m not going back…I’m moving ahead…I’m here to declare to you…My past is over…In you…Things are made new…Surrender my life to Christ…I’m moving, moving forward…

Even though I’ve always been very vocal about my relationship with God and yes this song is a gospel song this song being the new theme song for my life has to do not only with my always growing relationship with God but it also has to do with my new mindset on life as a whole.

At some point there was a change in me on how I viewed my life, relationships and the situations I found myself in.  My entire perspective has become more positive.  I’ve always been the one to practice what I preached but honestly it is not always easy being positive especially in a life as risky as mine where I am always taking chances with entrepreneurship, following a childhood dream or putting my heart on the line in love.  Those risks can easily have you asking yourself, “How did you get here.”

Finally I am in a place where I can accept my journey and how I got to where I am today.  I realize that everything that I’ve been through was necessary for where I am now and especially for where I am going. I understand that having imperfections actually make you perfect.  The story of my life has become the foundation of my career as a writer and without that story then I have no idea where I would be today.  I’ve learned so much! I have grown so much and continue to make major strides to becoming the woman I see in my dreams and now I know like never before the only way I will ever look at her in the mirror is to continue Moving Forward no matter what life throws at me, I’m not going back, I’m moving ahead…I’m moving, moving forward!

 

 

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“Wide Open”: 17 Days (Testimony)

As I look back over my life and I think things over I can truly say that I’ve been blessed I have a testimony…

I have been writing in journals as far back as I can remember.  My journals have groomed me as a writer.  Most of my work is based on life experiences, I write from a real place.  Even my fiction work is based on real events that I can create from.  “Wide Open” for example is based on an experience that I survived in my life, “The Things Inside Me” is a poetic autobiography, “Outside Myself” is a poetic documentary all of these artistic expressions were born from life experience – they are my testimony.

This is why I am always so nervous when I put my work out, I remember when I first published “The Things Inside Me”, I could not be in the same room with someone who was reading it because I felt like I was being exposed.  I still have that feeling when someone is reading my work in front of me.  My life and work are a testimony of how good God is and how far he has taken me.  I always pray that someone will be touched through my work that is how I know that I am doing work that God wants me to and that is what makes it truly remarkable.

I hope that everyone who comes out to see “Wide Open” can find something they can relate too.  But more importantly that they see how you can truly change your life when you put your faith in God.  This is my testimony.

A Glimmer of Hope

Faith without works is dead.

What happens when you work and work and work and you pray and you put all your faith in your God and you still see no results because God shows up on his time not yours.  It’s like when you first join the gym and your working out hard, changing your diet, sacrificing your favorite foods then you look in the mirror and you don’t see any changes.  What is it that keeps up going back anyway?  Hope!

The mere hope that what we are doing is not in vain.  The hope that after we work and we pray and we stay consistent on our paths that the results of our actions will manifest. Hope can be stronger than faith because hope is there when faith is fleeting.  In my “Voyage to Oprah’s Couch” segments I talk about how I believed that I would have been on her show multiple times in my life by now, yet I haven’t.  However, I still hope that my day is coming where I will sit on the couch across from her.

I took a step out on faith when I left my job, I hope that, that faith step wasn’t a foolish one.  I hope that my passion for writing and acting is not just that.  I hope that I will see the fruits of my labor.  I hope that I have the strength to stay faithful.  I hope that in my imperfections I shall find greatness.  I hope that when my patience wears out and I’m all alone losing sight of my dreams that there is a glimmer of hope lingering in the darkness that pulls me through to bask in the light.