Right In Front of My Face

It’s been a while.  I’ve been running a hundred miles a minute.  There are so many things going on in my life right now I wouldn’t even know where to start trying to explain it all.  There is one thing in particular that I thought I should share though; I’ve found my voice.  I’m not sure if you recall but I had been going on and on about not being able to write and having a creative mental block, well, that is all over now.  I have found my voice.

Of course like most things we think we lose they are usually right in front of our faces.  I discovered that I actually never lost my voice.  I had abandoned it.  I was trying so hard to recreate myself or “transform”, was the word I was using that I actually got lost in that.  Obviously, personal growth is important however some things are not meant to be changed.  God gave me my voice, and although the contents of my work will mature with me, my style is already perfect because it is not of me; it was a gift from God.

How did I make this discovery? About a week ago, I did a performance at my church and afterwards one of the members came up to me and said, “you are a poet and you don’t even know it.” At that moment it was like a light bulb went off.  My poetry is told in stories.  I have always had a very poetic way of writing my stories.  My best poetry always pretty much wrote itself while I was getting something off my chest. It was when I started trying to write poetry that I found myself lost in trying to make words rhyme. That was my biggest mistake.

Now that I’ve rediscovered my voice opportunities are coming out of nowhere. Even better than that I am writing again! And let me tell you when I’m writing life is so much better!

XOXO

I’m back!

S. Renee

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I Am An Author

I do have a life outside of “Wide Open”.  Although over the last few weeks I know it hasn’t seemed like it but I am an author and I am currently working on a few projects.  I finally get to refocus on these projects.  They are actually the reason I left my job.  I have a bad case of A.D.D. and cannot focus on too many things at a time so once we booked “Wide Open” my writing took a back seat.

Now that I am back in the swing of things with the play I can now multi-task and not be so stressed out over one project. I am super excited about the next few months because there will be some major strides made in my writing.  I can’t wait to reveal it all, but for now all I can say is be on the look out. Shireal Renee, author, playwright, screenplays, poet, I get’s it in LOL.  I am so ready to indulge myself in the land of make-believe.  A writers paradise.

Watch out world – I’m writing.

“Wide Open”: 21 Days (Addiction)

I have an addictive personality.  I can prove that in more ways than one, but I will use my most recent addiction as an example.  Coffee.  Since I have started my change in lifestyle i.e. diet one of the things on my nutrition list was that I could have a cup of black coffee in the mornings for breakfast.  My first reaction when I heard black coffee was yuck! But then I decided to work on changing my palate for the sake of my healthy future and guess what – I now like black coffee.

Here is where my addiction kicks in, now it’s all I want to drink.  I want to go out and buy gourmet coffee and flavored coffee maybe even try to grind my own beans lol.  My personality is not happy with just running to D&D and picking up a cup; no I have to go that extra mile. By the end of the month I am sure I will go invest in the top of the line coffee machine with all the fixings.  I even want new mugs. I am determined to become a caffeine junkie.

The good thing about it is I will be able to use the extra energy to focus on preparation for “Wide Open”.  There is always a flip side of the coin.  So, the word of the day is ADDICTION – as if I need anymore.

Hope to see you at the show I am sure I will be over caffeinated which will definitely bring in a new level of energy LOL.  If you haven’t purchased your tickets yet you can get them here.  Hope to see you there!

XOXO

“Wide Open”: 23 Days (The Countdown Begins)

WO Bregamos2There are always these steps I go through when a show is coming up.  They are, complete utter denial, fear, excitement, regret, butterflies, panic and nerves.  They always come one right after the other, not always in the same order but always one after the other.  This time around is different.  I am feeling them all at the same time. I am a walking ball of emotions.  One of them standing out the strongest – PANIC!

I am freaking out over here.  Anyone out there who has ever put on a show knows the amount of work that goes into it but if you have also performed in that said show you also know how intense it is.  I have not done “Wide Open” in Connecticut since April 2011, the show is different now, the cast is different, the sets are different I am different so basically everything is different.  This all means that the show will be received  differently then it has before but last time the reviews were amazing.  I don’t know what to expect this time.

Because my emotions have clearly taken over me I’ve decided to document my meltdown – I mean countdown to this show.  Regardless of my craziness my prayer is always the same, if one person is touched then it is all worth it.  Hope to see you there.

To purchase tickets to Wide Open click here.

A Writers Tale

I am in love with Bobby!  (Bobby is my laptop)

We have a relationship that people wish for.  We sit around and create for hours and hours and he never complains about my insomnia.  I can tell him anything and I never have to worry about being judged.  He doesn’t even care if all I am feeding him is fiction, he makes me feel creative and alive.

As a writer I find that I am a very odd person.  This path I have chosen is a very lonely one.  Long nights, quiet days, very few friends a lot of darkness.  I have to force myself into the light.  I find myself becoming lost in these stories and it is hard to find my way out.  To the point where I have to force myself to stop and go to sleep – which is torture.  Last night I had to literally rock myself to sleep and then once I finally drifted off to dream land OMG nightmare central.

In this dream/mare I was walking down this quiet suburban street with my cousin and suddenly appeared these gangsters with big machine guns and missile launchers, the cops came and tried to take the guns then a war started.   All these mini gangster soldiers appeared and they were all lined up ready to go to war, I tried to crawl away and protect my cousin but they saw us and made us fall into their lineup.  They gave us handguns but mine wasn’t loaded I tried to pretend I was down with their cause but then everyone started shooting and fighting and this big guy started attacking me and I shot my gun at him but it had no bullets so we fought and somehow I took his gun away from him and I shot him in the neck.  He fell. I went to search for my cousin to make sure she was ok but I couldn’t find her.  I turned around and got on this elevator that only went up three floors.  As the door was about to shut one of my old teachers jumped on and thanked me for holding the elevator, I smiled.  The elevator started going up but then it got stuck we called for help, pushed the emergency button but nobody came.  The elevator started again but it kept going to the 190th floor then suddenly it started to plummet to the ground. I woke up.

This is why I don’t sleep.  I’d rather be in control of my endings with Bobby.