Scarface

I apologize for my disappearance from the universe; however I have recently been through some major changes in my life.  I have wanted to share but every time I would attempt I would get brain freeze and couldn’t come up with the right words to say.  Finally, I have mustered up the courage to share something with you that I have been dealing with now for a year.

Last October I had a surgery to remove a keloid that had formed on the lower right side of my chin.  It was a rather large keloid but the position it was in made it easy to cover with makeup, but I always felt self conscience of it. Anyway, I guess as a woman any blemish on your face feels like the worst thing in the world.  So after dealing with it for a few years I’d finally decided to get it removed last year.  I went to my doctor and he recommended me to a plastic surgeon.  As soon as he mentioned plastic surgeon I realized that removing this would be a bit more serious than I originally anticipated.  But because I had already had my heart set on getting it removed I decided to go have a consultation with the surgeon and see what my options were.

After speaking with this seemingly qualified plastic surgeon and him assuring me that removing the keloid would be a pretty simple process under local anesthesia, and I’d be out the same day, I figured that was perfect and scheduled the surgery. Just as he said, everything went according to plan. I was in and out and the scar was removed.  The incision was so tiny you could barely tell anything was ever there.  I was ecstatic.

This lasted for about two months then the scar began to inflate.  It grew and grew until now it looks like I have been sliced across my face.  It is so disgusting. It is big and lumpy and ten times worse than what it looked like before I had it removed. I feel like I have been botched. Now the surgeon is saying I have to get it removed again. I don’t know what to do. I want it gone but what if he removes it again and then it grows back even worse again. Then what am I going to do? I am so terrified. It has completely changed me. I hate taking pictures now. I don’t like wearing my hair up. I always feel like people are staring at it. I am a mess over it. I am so sad just writing about it. I just don’t know what to do about this scar on my face!