“Wide Open”: 16 Days (Quitter)

When faced with greatness you can easily become consumed by fear, therefore allowing the possibility of quitting to seem like the easier option.

I try to model my life after people who I admire.  One person in particular is Tyler Perry.  I choose Tyler because we have a lot of similarities as far as my career aspirations.  We are both writers and actors and visionaries, even the fact that he started his career writing and producing plays which so happens to be where I have made the biggest impact in my career thus far.

In my quest to success I often find myself faced with obstacles that bring about doubt and fear.  When I am looking in the face of fear I find solace in prayer, my family and in Tyler.  I listen to his testimony of how he sacrificed and prayed, when he lost everything and was at his wit’s end about to give up on his dreams God clearly revealed himself letting him know that he was moving in the right direction.

As we get closer and closer to this re-launch of “Wide Open” I am overwhelmed with fear.  I find that my doubt is almost like sabotage.  I was speaking with Maurice at rehearsal and he reminded me that we are what we think we are and we are in control of what happens to us.  I need to keep reminding myself of this because this fear that I feel has me wanting to quit.  It has me wanting to make this the last time we do this show – but then what?  What will that make me?  My mother use to always say to me “nothing beats a failure but a try.”  So I know I have to give this my best shot.  I have to give it everything I got because if I don’t then I may as well be a quitter and I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet.  I don’t think I will be able to live with myself if I did.

So I will fight on!  I will stop comparing myself to other people, I will stop being afraid of the unknown and stop trying the control things that I have no control over.  I am surrendering myself to God and putting all my faith in his ability to work miracles.  For if I don’t then I can easily become my own worst enemy.  So the show will go on, sixteen days in counting.  I have nothing to fear but fear itself.  See you at the top!

Wide Open 2014

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