I may be dumb…but I’m not stupid

Does anyone remember that Rhianna song, Stupid in Love? I’m a huge Rhianna fan so I know songs off of her albums that you wouldn’t believe, how about the song, Breakin Dishes? LOL, I digress.  Anyway, Stupid in Love was pretty popular and it was running through my mind this morning and it made a lot of sense to my life.  Not so much the stupid in love part, but the chorus, I may be dumb…but I’m not stupid part.

I have been reflecting on the many dumb decisions I have made in my life.  My father has a habit of pointing them out to me every time he gets a chance.  And as much as it annoys the crap out of me, I hate to admit it but…He’s right (squinting as I type this and hoping he doesn’t read it).  I think about all the things that I could have accomplished, the many degrees I could have, the top notch schools I could have attended, the houses, cars and careers I could be in and I wonder why didn’t I listen to him?  I end up feeling really stupid.

I am forced to look at the error of my ways.  Where did I go wrong?  The answer to that is what led me to the lyrics of the song.  In the eyes of ordinary people who believe there is one way to live life – I am dumb!  I am a flat out idiot.  See I have made decisions that wouldn’t make sense to most people.  I have dropped out of college to go to film school.  I have quit “good jobs” to write a book and produce a play.  I have flew out to Atlanta to sleep on Tyler Perry Studios lawn.  I have slept in a parking lot to audition for Oprah.  On the other hand, I’ve published books, starred in shows, been on TV and had billboards with my face on it.  All of these things happened on faith, dumb faith.  Moving blindly with a hope and a prayer. So maybe some may call that dumb…but I’m not stupid.  I know there is a plan for my life.

I am not always consistent.  I definitely don’t live my life by the rules.  But I am very in tune.  When I follow my heart it always leads me somewhere unexpected accomplishing something I never thought possible and although the road is not smooth at least I can say it’s exciting and one less traveled.  This new venture I’m on is a little more unconventional then any I’ve taken before, yet it’s never been so clear.  It’s like getting a masters degree.  I’ve done all the crazy undergrad figuring it out stuff.  Now I have learned the lessons that my bachelor experience has taught me and have graduated to the next level on to get my masters in life in this career that chose me.  I have just been crazy enough and faithful enough to trust God and follow it.

God has a plan that is bigger then yours and mine.  So Daddy, yes, you are right I admit; I may be dumb…but I’m not stupid!

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4 thoughts on “I may be dumb…but I’m not stupid

  1. Well said! I think many can relate to your experiences. What’s most important is that your still moving forward to what makes Shireal happy:) Love yah!

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