On April 15, 2009 I walked away from my job in corporate America. I left what most people would call a good job. As a single woman I was bringing home enough money to support myself and a couple other people if I needed to. I had my own place, car, insurance, benefits, was traveling and my employer was paying for my degree 100%. I had it made.
But I was unhappy. So unhappy that Friday nights seemed like Sunday because I would be full of dread as soon as I left the office. I would spend the entire weekend upset that it was going by to fast and I would have to return to the office on Monday morning. I would sit at my computer for 8 to 16 hours and wish I were anywhere else. I would use all my vacation time before Spring any excuse to be away from the office. It was misery. My spirit wanted something else. It was like being in an abusive relationship. I would write lists out with pros and cons of staying at my job – sound familiar? It was horrible. When I gave my letter of resignation to my boss, he read it twice then said to me, “you are suppose to be a writer.” That was it. I walked away and never looked back.
It has been a little over 3 years since I took that leap of faith. I remember right before I wrote my resignation letter I wrote a letter to God in my journal on April 14, 2009 and it said…
“As my spirit outgrows my current energy and space my body fights to hold on to what it believes are the right decisions, the logical decisions. But people who believe in God, shall not depend on one’s own understanding or outside thinking. The true measure of faith is trusting what’s in your heart because God knows, that through your heart you are moved. So you must go with what’s in your heart and follow what drives you because God will not leave you…”
I handed in my resignation the next day. At the time my book, “The Things Inside Me: A poetic trip inside a young female mind (TTIM), had been complete for 4 years. On May 1, 2009 (less then a month after leaving my job) I opened the office to By Renee Visions Publishing House (BRV) at 75 Pratt St. Downtown Hartford and on December 13, 2009 I published my first book TTIM through my company BRV – seven months after walking away from my “good” job.
Since then I have produced, Wide Open: A One-Woman Show based off of the TTIM book, Produced and Hosted Poetz Corner TV, Co-created and Directed, The Thick Chronicles: A Body Image Story, been Editor and Chief of Street Connfinement Magazine, completed 6 movies scripts and the pilot to a television series, co-wrote the novel: A Pretty Girl’s Bullsh*t, done PR on major accounts like the Black Dynamite movie premiere featuring Michael Jai White at Bloomfield Cinemas and the Silk City Flick Fest, performed and hosted at countless venues and events, starred in movies, plays & documentaries and most recently published a new book through BRV titled, Bare Naked. Just to name a few. And on June 28, 2012 I will be shooting my first DVD with a live band, Outside Myself.
Did I take a risk leaving my job in the middle of a recession? Hell Yes!! Am I where I want to be yet? Hell No!! But am I happy and on the right path? I am not going to pretend that this road has been easy or always full of joy. It has been scary, dark and unpredictable but every small victory has made it worth each terrifying moment. Each small step brings me closer to my ultimate dream. No one ever said it would be easy, but God said if you take one step he will take two. So I am taking as many steps as my feet can handle so that that first risky step will not have been in vein. Life is too short to live with regrets! Don’t let yours pass you by.